20 Classic Lottie-isms
I was chilling out with Queen Lottie last night and she was being the usual weirdo that she is, so I obviously took a picture (or 10 – see attached) and sent them out to her legion of adoring fans. It got me thinking about all her little Lottie-isms that make her such a hoot, and the daily joy she brings her human pals, even when she is far away. So for those who are not coping with the separation too well, I am dedicating a post of snippets of her daily dog behaviour that are clinically proven to brighten your day.
Similarly to my 20 things about me, Lottie is having her turn. I mean, we all know she is the real star of the show. Here are 20 classic Lottie-isms that make her such a strange but wonderful pooch.
- Lottie is a tomboy and has never been referred to as a ‘she’ by a stranger.
- Lottie likes to high five and wave.
- Lottie can chew through anything within 10 minutes. Her Kong dog toys are the only ones that have stood the test of time, and she cares for her “babies” by destuffing and mutilating them.
- Lottie has stolen approximately 40 pencils from visiting workmen, and has successfully hidden the majority of their important tools.
- Lottie believes Carmex pots are her toys to chew and play games with, and absolutely do not have a feasible use for humans.
- Lottie likes to hide her bone under pillows as a surprise for when you get into bed.
- Lottie stares out the nearest human everyday at 4.45pm to remind you that she is to be fed in the next 15 minutes.
- Lottie loves nothing more than lying on her back, legs askew, anytime, anywhere, for a good nap and welcomes a belly rub at any time.
- Lottie barks and grumbles like an old man when someone is at the door, when the wind blows a tree or when a spider is walking up a wall.
- Lottie is The Speediest McGee of all the lands, and even after her long walks when she is so tired her tongue has tripled in length, she sometimes still does a couple of high-speed laps in the garden (mad 5 minute poodle dash).
- Lottie swims similarly to a water rat, and sports an uncanny water rat look too post-river.
- Lottie is a living shredder, a much more costly alternative to the electronic version.
- Lottie lives to dig and play fetch and will do both until she passes out.
- Lottie is slightly dopey and is known to sometimes walk into chair legs and fall off beds and sofas.
- Lottie is any nearby human's less subtle shadow and has no concept of personal space. She happily joins humans everywhere (the toilet staring is the creepiest).
- Lottie wakes up every morning between 5.20am and 5.23am.
- Lottie wags her tail if you ask her if she is happy (we believe the wagging to be dog sign language for ‘yes’).
- Lottie strategically drops polo balls on her grandmother’s head from the staircase balcony. She has proved to have a very good aim.
- Lottie relaxes by sticking her head out of the car window and letting the wind turn her head into the shape of a Dorito.
- Lottie is *very* fond of men.